Tag: self reflection

there is an end

i thought it would last forever
this disconnect, this

this

this

separation between who i thought i was
and who i could presently be
wasn’t i happy once?
didn’t i enjoy those things?
why was i hyperventilating before something i KNEW i loved but FELT like

like

like

honestly it felt like nothing
i couldn’t feel anything
not numb, just -not- anything
no joy, no sunlight, but

but

but

one day i woke up
and i felt it
a small river flowing
a little positivity fizzing in my marrow
i breathed a little easier and

and

and

i started to step outside of my tunnel
blinded by the realization
nothing lasts forever
even the absence and the disconnect must end

how do you look up

it was like my emotions were behind a closed door
i knew they were there
but i was forgetting what they felt like
i banged and banged and banged on the door
i screamed
i yelled
but i could not get the door to open
i could not reconnect to myself
part of me remains
halved in shadows

gravity

i think i understand why they say
it only comes once in a lifetime
for ive spent lifetimes already
just waiting for the idea of you
and here you are in the flesh
wrapped in light and love
and you are so much more
so much more than my hopes
than my comprehension
than my wildest thoughts
to let you go
would be to gamble
that the earth doesnt circle the sun
that the moon doesnt orbit the earth
that the strongest gravity doesnt pull us together
no, i’ll take the safe bet
and follow you into the unknown

jigsaw souls

is it too soon?
is it too quick?
i think youre inserting time
into a place it doesnt belong

instead i’ll answer you this
it feels like the solution to my soul
like a monumental exhale of relief
when youre near

why would these things ever have to do with time
when the universe is finally placing two jigsaw souls together

your feelings in your arms

will you hold my heart first
before you hold me in your arms
or will you use physicality
instead of words to tell me how you feel

but this society doesnt let me read them
your feelings in your arms
because great passion has been taught
to mean great leaving

and how can i trust
that from these lessons
you are apart
and will not leave