i thought it would last forever
this disconnect, this

this

this

separation between who i thought i was
and who i could presently be
wasn’t i happy once?
didn’t i enjoy those things?
why was i hyperventilating before something i KNEW i loved but FELT like

like

like

honestly it felt like nothing
i couldn’t feel anything
not numb, just -not- anything
no joy, no sunlight, but

but

but

one day i woke up
and i felt it
a small river flowing
a little positivity fizzing in my marrow
i breathed a little easier and

and

and

i started to step outside of my tunnel
blinded by the realization
nothing lasts forever
even the absence and the disconnect must end